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People can Live Forever
Recent progress has stem cell researchers stating emphatically that they now believe that they can
keep a person alive for 1000 years. Of course, such a claim will quickly grow into “living forever”. Are
we going to offer these procedures under Medicare? By what date will one worker support 1000 retired
people?
Obviously it won’t take long for us to consider death by “natural causes” to be a cruel and unusual
punishment. Such a cruelty must be caused by rich people not wanting to share their financial
resources to help the poor to live forever. Then we will want to keep those cute polar bears at the zoo
alive forever as well. I expect to get a fund-raising letter from my local zoo to that effect. Are we going
to offer these procedures to the poor people in Botswana via Oxfam? After all, the poor of the world
should be able to live for 1000 years, too. But then aren’t we responsible for feeding them as well?
Won’t I get a letter that says that the $1000 that I gave was used to keep 1000 poor people alive for
1000 years but now they might die if I don’t send them $1.27 cents per day per person for food? That is
only $1270 per day to feed 1000 people, and I should consider it a bargain. I am clearly morally
obligated to feed those people whom I kept alive, aren’t I?
Are we going to be kind and make these longevity procedures available to people on death row so that
they don’t die of natural causes while waiting for their appeals? We wouldn’t want any such injustice
such as that. After all, they might win their appeal on a technicality and be able to sue the government
for millions and then go out and kill again while making sure that they themselves live forever. How
about serial killers. We need to understand what made them kill and to do this we need to keep them
alive so that we can scan their brains and figure out what made them kill.
How about poor Terry Schiavo? Shouldn’t she have her persistent vegetative state extended for 5000
years? I suspect that I will receive a fundraiser from people who will be using the money to keep her
parents alive so that they can continue to fight for their daughter’s life in spite of that mean cruel
husband who wants to give up on her after only 15 years. If you disagree, then you are a cruel person
with no heart that probably wants to kill baby polar bears in order to use their blubber to grease your oil
drilling rigs in Alaska.
If people can live forever, is it too early for Dan Rather to retire? Perhaps we need him to keep
attacking W until he gets a good forgery that doesn’t look fake. Maybe next time he can buy an old
Selectric on Ebay and make a better looking document.
If nobody dies of natural causes, then death occurs only by a purposeful act like war, suicide and
murder. This tends to make being a murderer a matter of survival. Kill or be killed. When we stop
dying, won’t the price of food and housing go up? Can I purchase a futures contract on a bushel of corn
to be delivered in 2015?
Humbot
Polbot
Next
US Politics Index
Recent progress has stem cell researchers stating emphatically that they now believe that they can
keep a person alive for 1000 years. Of course, such a claim will quickly grow into “living forever”. Are
we going to offer these procedures under Medicare? By what date will one worker support 1000 retired
people?
Obviously it won’t take long for us to consider death by “natural causes” to be a cruel and unusual
punishment. Such a cruelty must be caused by rich people not wanting to share their financial
resources to help the poor to live forever. Then we will want to keep those cute polar bears at the zoo
alive forever as well. I expect to get a fund-raising letter from my local zoo to that effect. Are we going
to offer these procedures to the poor people in Botswana via Oxfam? After all, the poor of the world
should be able to live for 1000 years, too. But then aren’t we responsible for feeding them as well?
Won’t I get a letter that says that the $1000 that I gave was used to keep 1000 poor people alive for
1000 years but now they might die if I don’t send them $1.27 cents per day per person for food? That is
only $1270 per day to feed 1000 people, and I should consider it a bargain. I am clearly morally
obligated to feed those people whom I kept alive, aren’t I?
Are we going to be kind and make these longevity procedures available to people on death row so that
they don’t die of natural causes while waiting for their appeals? We wouldn’t want any such injustice
such as that. After all, they might win their appeal on a technicality and be able to sue the government
for millions and then go out and kill again while making sure that they themselves live forever. How
about serial killers. We need to understand what made them kill and to do this we need to keep them
alive so that we can scan their brains and figure out what made them kill.
How about poor Terry Schiavo? Shouldn’t she have her persistent vegetative state extended for 5000
years? I suspect that I will receive a fundraiser from people who will be using the money to keep her
parents alive so that they can continue to fight for their daughter’s life in spite of that mean cruel
husband who wants to give up on her after only 15 years. If you disagree, then you are a cruel person
with no heart that probably wants to kill baby polar bears in order to use their blubber to grease your oil
drilling rigs in Alaska.
If people can live forever, is it too early for Dan Rather to retire? Perhaps we need him to keep
attacking W until he gets a good forgery that doesn’t look fake. Maybe next time he can buy an old
Selectric on Ebay and make a better looking document.
If nobody dies of natural causes, then death occurs only by a purposeful act like war, suicide and
murder. This tends to make being a murderer a matter of survival. Kill or be killed. When we stop
dying, won’t the price of food and housing go up? Can I purchase a futures contract on a bushel of corn
to be delivered in 2015?
Humbot
Polbot
Next
US Politics Index
The Polbot Political Site